Letterkenny Pick Up Lines


“Where’s the sacrifice?” — Jones
Ya finished up chorin’ the other day… — Wayne
“Nice onesie. Does it come in men’s? — Jonesy
“Buddy you couldn’t wheel a fu©kin’ tire down a hill.” — Wayne
“fu©k Lemony Snicket, What A Serious Of Unfortunate Events You F©kin Been Through You Ugly F©k. Boulevard Of Broken Dreams!” – Letterkenny
“If you have a problem with the majestic Canadian Goose, then you have a problem with me.” — Wayne
They’ve Assembled the Degen All-Stars. Their organization is baffling. — Katy
“Oh, come on, kitten. I won’t tell anyone.” — Wayne
“Tim’s, McDonald’s, and the beer store are all closed on Christmas Day. And that’s your whole world right there.” — Wayne3. “You wish there was a pied piper for possums. But there isn’t, so you’re just gonna have to keep picking ‘em off with a .22.” — Wayne
“You knew your pal had come into money when he started throwing out perfectly good pistachios like he was above cracking ‘em open with a box cutter like the rest of us.” — Daryl
“Yeah. Oh, hey, look at you, ground.” — Squirrelly Dan6. “If you have a problem with the majestic Canadian Goose, then you have a problem with me.” — Wayne
“Seeing as this is most certainly a one-off event and not a tradition that also falls on some made-up holiday that I couldn’t give a cats queef about, I’m out. There’s happiness calling my name from the bottom of a bottle of Puppers.” — Wayne8. “Nice onesie. Does it come in men’s? — Jonesy
“…I’m too fat to run.” — Squirrelly Dan
“We need backup, boys.” — Jonesy
“Oh, c’mon, where’s your jam, bud?” —Reilly
“Pitter-patter, let’s get at ‘er.” — Everyone
“Not my pig, not my farm.” — Wayne
“Oh, get off the cross, we need the wood.” — Wayne
“Where’s the sacrifice?” — Jonesy
“Let’s go easy over there, Squirrelly Dan.” — Wayne
.“And I suggest you let that one marinate.” — Wayne
“You’re made of spare parts, aren’t you, bud?” — Wayne
“That was well brought up. Too bad you weren’t.” — Katy

“You’re pretty good at wrestlin’ there, Katy, and that’s what I appreciates about you.” — Squirrelly Dan
“Buddy you couldn’t wheel a fuckin’ tire down a hill.” — Wayne
“Call me a cake, ‘cause I’ll go straight to your ass, cowboy!” — Gail
“What’s up with your body hair, you big shoots? You look like a 12-year-old Dutch girl.” — Wayne
“I see the muscle shirt came today. Muscles coming tomorrow? Did ya get a tracking number? Oh I hope he got a tracking number. That package is going to be smaller than the one you’re sportin’ now.” — Daryl

“Your dad says guys with big trucks have little dinks. And that makes sense cuz you want a real big truck and got a real little dink.” — Wayne
Yes Dear, Pick Up Milk On The Way Home. That’s A Texas Sized 10-4.
“Daryl: You guys do CrossFit? Wayne: You can cross fuck off.”

Surreal Letterkenny quotes

I need to give you one more chance to retract, no questions asked. Before this conversation becomes a confrontation.
Make Sure You Use That There Sunscreen ‘Cause It’s A Great Day For Hay.
“Hard no.” — Wayne
“Closest you’re gettin’ to any action this weekend is givin’ the dairy cow’s teets a good scrubbin’.” — Wayne
“You can cross fuck off.” — Wayne
“Fuck you, Shoresy, you’re a terrible fuckin ref!” — Jonesy
“Fuck you Shoresy! Put a shirt on.” — Reilly
“Your sister’s hot, Wayne! There I said it! I said it! I regret nothing! I regret nothing!” — Squirrelly Dan
“Does a duck with a boner drag weeds?” — Wayne

Funny Letterkenny quotes

“You seen a ‘coon havin’ sex with a barn cat on top of your truck? Fuck what’s the nature of that David Suzuki.” — Wayne
“You stopped toe curlin’ in the hot tub ‘cause you heard sperms stay alive in there and you’ve seen Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles enough times to know how that story ends.” — Wayne
“Fuck you Jonesy! Your mom just liked my Instagram post from 2 years ago in Puerto Vallarta. Tell her I’ll put my swim trunks on for her any time she likes.” — Reilly
“Fuck, Lemony Snicket, what A Series of Unfortunate Events you been through, you ugly fuck.” — Jonesy
“Well, I’d say give your balls a tug, but it looks like yer pants are doin’ it for ya.” — Wayne
“Fuck you, Reilly, go scoop it off your mom’s floor! She gives my nipples butterfly kisses.” — Jonesy
“Fuck you, Jonesy, your life is so pathetic I get a charity tax break just by hanging around you!” — Shoresy

Slightly inappropriate Letterkenny quotes

“You ever hoover schneef off a sleeping cow’s spine?” “I’ve hoovered schneef off an awake cow’s teet.” — Daryl
“It’s like algebra…why you gotta put numbers and letters together? Why can’t you just go fuck yourself?” — Wayne
“You naturally care for a companionship, but I guess there’s a lot worse things than playing a little one-man couch hockey in the dark.” — Wayne
“You Were A Sniper In That Game Today And… Do You See That Sniper At 3 O’clock?” – Letterkenny
“Your sister’s lasagna gave everyone the scoots for weeks up in here.” – Gail

“Figure it out!” — Everyone
“Well, there’s nothing better than a fart. Except for kids falling off bikes, maybe. Fuck, I could watch kids falling off bikes all day, I don’t give a fuck about your kids.” — Wayne
“We only got one shot at this. One chance. One win. You know? Vomit on your mom’s spaghetti, or whatever that talking singer says.” — Coach
“If I was a Dr. Seuss book, I’d be The Fat in the Hat.” — Katy
“Here’s a poem. Starlight, star bright, why the fuck you got earrings on? Bet your lobes ain’t the only thing that got a hole punched in ’em.” — Wayne
“It’s a hard life picking stones and pulin’ teats, but as sure as God’s got sandals, it beats fightin’ dudes with treasure trails.” — Wayne
“I wish you weren’t so fucking awkward, bud.” — Wayne
“Oh I’m stomping the brakes, put that idea right through the fucking windshield.” — Katy
“Do you know what, I don’t want you to kiss and tell, that’s impolite…. but I am kind of curious.” – Shoresy
“His Girlfriend Was Going Out Of Town So She Tooted The Horn One More Time Before She Left.” – Letterkenny
“The world needs less Facebook and more Face-to-Face!” – Wayne

Letterkenny quotes for everyday use

“Every woman knows that the way to a man’s heart is not through his zipper, it’s through his stomach.” – Wayne
“Look if you are coming, you better come correct.” – Gail
“Well, I’d say give your balls a tug, but it looks like your pants are doing it for you.” – Wayne
“Fuck Lemony Snicket, What A Serious Of Unfortunate Events You Fuckin Been Through You Ugly Fuck. Boulevard Of Broken Dreams!” – Letterkenny
“Got anymore of that electric lettuce? These darts aren’t doing it.” – Shoresy
“The New Season Of Letterkenny Is Coming To Cravetv. So Pitter Patter, Lets Get At’er And Watch It Already.” – Letterkenny
“You’re a cup of baby carrots, ya fucking asshole.” – Wayne
“You’d best be preparin’ for a Donny Brook if you think I’m going to that super soft birthday party of yours.” — Wayne

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