JOE PESCI  QUOTES


I’m funny how, I mean funny like I’m a clown?

Ah, I don’t do interviews, really.

“They’re perfect. Don’t matter if they’re skinny, fat, blond or blue. If a woman is willing to give you her love, Harvard, it’s the greatest gift in the world. Makes you taller, makes you smarter, makes your teeth shine. Boy, oh, boy, women are perfect.”

 

“That car meant a lot to me, Gus. I get memories of that car I can’t even remember.”

You know why you hate me so much, Jeffery? Because I look the way you feel.

Sure, mom, I settle down with a nice girl every night, then I’m free the next morning.

You win, you win. You lose, you still win.

“I’m a bum. But I’m a Harvard bum.”

“So, here are my options. Option a: I get my ass kicked, or option b: I kick your ass and collect the 200. I think I’m gonna go with option b: kickin’ your as* and collecting $200.”

 

“Everybody loves to have their picture took. Everybody.”

“This guy could fuck up a cup of coffee.”

A winner forgets he’s in a race, he just loves to run.

I’ve been married three times, but I’ll never forget my first trip as a young man, on my honeymoon, with my new wife.

I couldn’t get any jobs, and when that happens, you get so humble it’s disgusting. I didn’t feel like a man anymore — I felt really creepy. I was bumping into walls and saying, Excuse me.

I dyed my hair blonde in that movie, so my head doesn’t match my grill.

You try too hard. Winners forget they’re in a race. They just love to run.

I’m just some lunatic macaroni mushroom, is that it?

“I love to star in movies, but I want to have good roles.”

JOE PESCI

I dyed my hair blonde in that movie, so my head doesn’t match my grill.

I would have done something else in life. Something more calming, in a different area where I did not have to use my emotions.

There was a time I couldn’t get a job.

Scorsese and De Niro taught me to bring out the natural side of myself. And they taught me to think of myself as the average guy. Sometimes the average guy belongs in a role more than your matinee idol-type of person. We have to have people we can relate to. Joe Pesci

I’m just some lunatic macaroni mushroom, is that it?

I love to star in movies, but I want to have good roles. It doesn’t help to get starring roles in something that’s no good. I mean, that will just kill you.

There are great actors we’ll never see just because they haven’t had my luck.

My father loved me so much that he did not want me to be a laborer or anything. I don’t know if it’s the right thing to do – push your kids into something and then stay on them until they do it. Let them pick what they want to do.

 

I’m a bore. I save all my energy for my characters.

You don’t say hello to Mr. DeNiro? Show the respect, will ya?

“Who cares about the reward is right. Forget about the reward. Let’s just take the $2 1/2 million in money and jewels. We’re millionaires! Millionaires, Gus! We’re rich!”

“Scorsese and De Niro taught me to bring out the natural side of myself.”

“I’m Leo Getz, and whatever you want, Leo gets.”

Women, aren’t they perfect? It doesn’t matter if they’re fat, skinny, blond, or blue. If a woman is willing to give you her love, Harvard, it’s the greatest gift in the world. Makes you taller, makes you smarter, makes your teeth shine. Boy-oh-boy women are perfect, perfect joy and perfect ache. Joy when you first meet them and get to know them. Ache when you leave them. Joy. Ache. Joy. Ache. Joyachejoyachejoyachejoyache.

Did Mad freakin’ Max just call me irritating? -Joe Pesci

My father loved me so much that he did not want me to be a laborer or anything. I dont know if its the right thing to do – push your kids into something and then stay on them until they do it. Let them pick what they want to do.

“My name is gonna be in the history books. And they better spell my name right! L-I-D-E-O. So simple. Frankie LiDeo! Very easy!”

 

JOE PESCI MOVIE QUOTES


“Those doctors are savages. I mean, where does it say that a gunshot wound requires a rectal exam?”

Riggs changed Leo’s exams schedule

JOE PESCI – Leo Getz

“Gee Roger you sure have been grumpy since ya found out you’re gonna be a Grandpa!”

JOE PESCI – Leo Getz

“- Joe Waters: I’m sorry I don’t have a photographic memory, Gus.

– Gus Green: You don’t even have a memory.”

JOE PESCI – Joe Waters

DANNY GLOVER – Gus Green

 

 

“Women are perfect, perfect joy and perfect ache. Joy when you first see them and get to know them, ache when you leave them.”

JOE PESCI – Simon Wilder

 

“You might be demonstrating a failure to show appreciation.”

talking to Hoffa

JOE PESCI – Russell Bufalino

 

“Holy smokes!”

repeated line

 

JOE PESCI – Joe Waters

 

“Froggy was my friend and I really loved him, and I took him everywhere with me, and I was riding on my bike one day and he jumped out of the box, and I ran him over with the back tire. I killed him. I was really heartbroken. Really, he was my best friend in the whole world; the only thing I ever loved.”

 

JOE PESCI – Leo Getz

“I never made it to the sixth grade, kid. And it doesn’t look like you’re gonna, either.”

 

JOE PESCI – Harry Lime

“- Jake La Motta: She says he’s pretty.

– Joey LaMotta: Yeah, well, you make him ugly.”

talking about the boxer Jake’s about to fight with

 

ROBERT DE NIRO – Jake La Motta

JOE PESCI – Joey

 

“Winners forget they’re in a race, they just love to run.”

JOE PESCI – Simon Wilder

 

“- Steve: You can’t just kill innocent people because they look like somebody else.

– Tommy Spinelli: Let me tell you something, college boy, nobody is innocent.”

TODD LOUISO – Steve

JOE PESCI – Tommy

 

 

“- Louie Kritski: Why do they call you Milkman?

– Milkman: Because I killed the milkman.”

JOE PESCI – Louie Kritski

TODD MONTEIRO – Milkman

 

“- Marv Merchants: Kids are scared of the dark.

– Harry Lime: You’re afraid of the dark, too, Marv.”

DANIEL STERN – Marv Merchants

JOE PESCI – Harry Lime

 

“I settle down with a nice girl every night, then I’m free the next morning.”

JOE PESCI – Tommy DeVito

 

“If a guy fuc*ing tripped over a banana peel, they’d bring me in for it.”

to a journalist after an audit at court

 

JOE PESCI – Nicky Santoro

 

 

“- Harry Lime: Why the hell did you take your shoes off?

– Marv Merchants: Why the hell are you dressed like a chicken?”

Marv Merchants is covered in feathers

 

JOE PESCI – Harry Lime

DANIEL STERN – Marv Merchants

 

“- Ernie: I think we better pull over, ’cause we need some gas soon.

– Tommy Spinelli: Keep fuc*ing driving.

– Fern: Didn’t I tell you to watch your fuc*ing language?”

DAVID SPADE – Ernie

JOE PESCI – Tommy

 

“That black book’s a joke. It’s only got two names in it for the whole country. And one of them’s still Al Capone.”

JOE PESCI – Nicky Santoro

 

“- Tommy Spinelli: Where’s Charlie?

– Fern: Who are you?

– Tommy Spinelli: I asked you a question, where the fuc* is Charlie?

– Fern: And I asked you a question, who the fuc* are you?”

JOE PESCI – Tommy

ERNESTINE MERCER – Fern

 

“- Jake La Motta: What do you mean – I don’t understand, kill you?

– Joey LaMotta: Me! Kill me, starthere! Do me a fuc*in’ favour! Cause you’re driving me crazy! You’re a killer, you’re a big shot, just kill. You’re a killer.”

ROBERT DE NIRO – Jake La Motta

JOE PESCI – Joey

 

“- Simon Wilder: How many bottles of that wine would you be willing to give me to fix it?

– Everett Calloway: To get this thing running? Six.

– Simon Wilder: Eight.

– Everett Calloway: Seven.

– Simon Wilder: Eight.

– Everett Calloway: Okay, nine, but that’s my final offer.

– Simon Wilder: Didn’t you used to run a saving and loan?”

JOE PESCI – Simon Wilder

PATRICK DEMPSEY – Everett Calloway

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