Awful Pick Up Lines


 

So you want to impress someone with some Awful Pick-up lines. Here is a list of  some of our favorites awful pickup lines which you can try.

 

“Would you like an Aussie kiss? It’s like a French kiss, but down under.”

Are you my appendix? Cause you are useless.

Did you get that body in McDonald’s? Because I’m loving it.

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

Is that gavel the only thing you are going to be banging tonight?

Are you prepared for trouble? Make it double! Want to get a drink with us or not?

Do you have a Band-Aid? I scraped my knee falling for you.

“Want to make a porno? We don’t have to tape it.”

“I want to wear you like a wedding ring.”

On a scale of 1 to 10, you are a 9… Cause I’m the 1 you need.

“As long as I have a face, you have somewhere to sit.”

“Want to go halves on a bastard?”

Sit on my face and I’ll guess your weight.

Should we talk or flirt from a distances?

My friend over there really wants your number so they know where to get a hold of me in the morning.

Do you work in a farm? Cause you sure know how to raise cocks.

You smell nice. Like something, I want to have sex with.

“Shall we continue flirting from a distance, or can I buy you a drink?”

You turn my software into hardware.

If she’d get plowed, she’ll get wowed.

Awful Pick Up Lines
Awful Pick Up Lines

GET IN THE VAN!

Some More Awful Pick Up Lines

Is your daddy a baker? Cause you got a nice set of buns.

“My magical watch says you’re not wearing any underwear. Oh, you are? Must be an hour fast.”

Have you got your license? Because you’re driving me crazy!

Hey are you made out of copper (Cu) and tellurium (Te)? Because you’re CuTe…

Are you from tennessese? Because you’re the only ten I see.

Are you a fire alarm? Cause you’re f*cking loud and annoying.

I’m really good at math. I want to add you and I, subtract our clothes, divide your legs and multiply.

Do you work for Royal Mail? I’m sure I saw you checking out my package.

There’s a party in my pants and you’re invited.

“The only thing your eyes haven’t told me is your name.”

“If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?”

I’m willing to catch… If you’re willing to fall.

I lost my number. Can I have yours?

If you were a booger I would pick you.

They say dating is a numbers game… Can I have your number?

If you were a fruit you’d be a FINEAPPLE.

Are you free tonight? Or, will it cost me?

If I were an astronaut, my first mission would be… To Uranus.

I’m no weatherman, but you can expect a few inches tonight.

Hey babe, are you Jamaican? Because Ja’makin me crazy.

It’s really annoying because I thought happiness started with a ‘h’ when it actually starts with ‘u’.

If I flip this coin, what are the chances of me getting head?

Did you fall from heaven? Because you’re probably from Tennessee.

Do you know how I know I’m taking you home tonight? Because I’m stronger than you.

I’ve been waiting for you to be legal since you were a little girl.

“I’ll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast.”

I like my coffee like I like my men. Ground up and in the freezer.

You know, I’d really like to store some missiles in your country.

 

Awful Pickup Lines
Awful Pickup Lines

“My name’s Pogo, want to jump on my stick?”

“Fuck me if I am wrong, but you want to screw me, don’t you?”

You hear about Pluto? That’s messed up.

Do you work at Subway? Because you just gave me a footlong.

“See my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I’m cute.”

“Are you a bird watcher? Want to take me for a swallow?”

I wish you were my little toe because I would like up bang you on every piece of furniture.

“The human body has got 206 bones in it. What’s say we make it 207?”

Lick your finger and touch it to her top: “Let’s get you out of those wet clothes.”

If you were a triangle, you would be an acute one.

Are you a thief? Because you stole all the stars in the sky and put them in the eyes!

There will only be 7 planets left after I destroy Uranus.

Are you a part time farmer? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.

Want to go on an date with me? I’ll give you the D later on.

“Sit on my face and pedal my ears.”

Do you like dragons Dragon balls

You’re really pretty but you’d look even better on the back of a milk carton.

“Can I touch your bellybutton? From the inside.”

Are you retarded? Because you look special to me.

Hello, 911 Emergency? There’s a handsome guy in my bathroom! Hey, wait a second. Cancel that! It’s only me!

Can I read your shirt in brail?

Funny Awful Pick up lines

 

That dress is very becoming on you. And if I were on you, I’d be coming on you too.

Oh, baby, I’d totally yield you the floor.

did you fall from heaven? Because your face is busted.

Are you an antiquer? Because I have some, junk that hasn’t been touched in years.

What’s a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

“You don’t sweat much for a fat lass.”

Hey babe, are you from Cambodia? Because I’d like to Cam your Bodia.

I’m looking for treasure. Is that the bounty on your chest.

“Are you a spanner? Cause every time I see you, my nuts tighten.”

Did anyone order some flex FREEDOM?

 

Cheesy Awful Pick Up Lines

 

“The word of the day is “legs.” Let’s go back to my place and spread the word.”

Hi I’m the package that good things come in

You look like trash. Let me take you out.

Done good and some bad but am the ones I can remember.

Are you a geologist? Because you’ve got me rock hard.

There’s a party in my pants and URINE vited!

Hey babe, are you Palestinian? Because I’d like you occupy your Gaza Strip.

“My tongue is 7 inches long and I can breathe through my ears.”

If I said you were an angel, would you love me like the devil tonight?

Get out of the kitchen if you can’t take the heat.

“Let’s play house. You be the door and I’ll slam you all night long.”

“Hi, my name’s Mr Right. I heard you were looking for me?”

Do you work at subway? Cause you just gave me a footlong.

Nice legs. What time do they open?

Are you a jedi? Because yodalicious.

“Inheriting eighty million doesn’t mean much when you have a weak heart.”

We both got buckets of chicken… want to do it?

Darling, your motion has really elongated my caucus.

Roses are red, weed is greener i think of you when i touch my wiener.

How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice, hi I’m Josh.

Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

do you know CPR ? Cause my penis just stopped breathing.

“Excuse me, do you want to fuck, or should I apologise?”

Heard you were looming for a stud. Well I’ve got an STD, all I need is you;)

Are you a parking ticket? Cause you have fine written all over you.

If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?

Nasty Pick Up Lines
Awful Pick Up Lines

Can I have directions? To your heart?

I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me?

“I have Skittles in my pants. Want to taste the rainbow?”

Girl, if I was a fly, I’d be all over you, cause you’re the shit!

Horrible Pickup lines

You turn my software into hardware.

Are you my appendix? I don’t know what you do or how you work but I feel like I should take you out.

Hope you’ve got home insurance because you’re going to get your back doors smashed in

“Let’s play army; I’ll lie down and you blow the hell out of me.”

You like to draw? Cuz I put the D in raw.

Did you get those jeans in the sale? Because they’re 100% off in my place?

Hey baby. I just shit my pants, can I get in yours?

Are you an orphanage? Because I want to give you kids.

Is it hot in here or is it just you?

I put the std in stud. Now all I need is u.

Are you an orphanage? Because I want to give you kids.

My arms are broken and mom is not at home.

Do you work in KFC because you are finger linking good.

You know, the resolution we just passed gives me unrestricted entry.

Wanna go out ? Should I say some awful pick up lines

You must be a commander because my privates are standing to attention.

“My friends bet me that I wouldn’t be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the room. Want to buy some drinks with their money?”

If you were a vegetable I’d pull the plug.

I’m not drunk. I’m just intoxicated by the thought of you naked.

If you were sin2 x and I cos2 x together we’d be 1.

Have you got maps? I think I just got lost in your eyes.

Is your dad in prison? Because if I was your dad I’d be in prison.

Do you work in subway? Cause you just gave me a foot long.

Worst Pick Up Lines

“If you’re going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.”

My name isn’t elmo, but you can tickle me anyday.

“I want to wear you like a feed bag.”

“If it’s true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.”

If you were a flower, you’d be a DAMNdelion!

I’ve not got a camel but you can ride my elephant.

Is your last name Jacobs? Because you’re a cracker.

My friend tells me you’re easy.

Cheesy Awful Pick Up Lines

I’m not a rooster but look at what cock will do to you.

If you were a vegetable, you’d be a CUTEcumber!

You don’t sweat much for a fat lass!

I don’t say this very often, but you have to be the most beautiful trio of gigantic women I’ve ever laid eyes on.

If I said you had a beautiful body would you take your pants off and dance around a little?

Hey I’m going for a walk. Will you hold this for me?

Apart from being being beautiful what do you do for a living?

If you stay with me girl, you’ll definitely be Mg2Mg5Si8O22(OH)2.

Look at those two, my breast friends.

Hey theres a party in my shoes and they were just wondering if your pants can come down.

You don’t need car keys to drive me crazy.

What’s a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

You must have a p-value of at least 0.05, because I fail to reject you.

I hope you’re insured. Because you’ve made a dent in my pants.

Are you religious? Because you’re the answer to all my prayers.

Roses are red, but sometimes they’re thorny, when you’re not with me, I get kinda… Corny.

Are you from Japan? Cos I want to get in Japanties.

“Do you know the difference between a hotdog and a blowjob? No? Well, I’d love to take you for lunch.”

Nasty Pick Up lines

Do you have the time? The time do write down my number?

Excuse me, did you fart? Cause you blew me away.

Joke – you got me – now what are you going to do with me

Do you have any raisins? How about a date?

I’m into my space and my astronomy, I’d love to see your anus

You know what would look good on me? You.

Life is short, and you are hot.

“Nice legs, what time do they open?”

I’m a new astronaut. My first mission is to Uranus.

I motion to invade Djibouti with the aid of Greece.

What has 142 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper.

Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?

I’ve got 70 hobbies… 69 and fishing

Are you a pro-Russian rebel? Cause I want to take that peninsula and Putin it in your Donbas till I Crimea all over your motherland.

20 letters in alphabet – u r a q t 25, you’ll get the D later on

“Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?”

Girl, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause your face is all sorts of jacked up.

Is that shirt cotton? Or can it be felt?

“I want to kiss you passionately on the lips, then move up to your belly button.”

You’re a 9, and I’m the one you need.

Is your dad a plumber? Be user you’re the shit.

“You look like my first wife. (Probably the Worst Awful pick up lines xD)

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a g*n, get in the van.

“I want to spend the rest of my night with you.”

Wow, for a Third World country, you’re pretty well developed.

“Are you my big toe? Cause I’m going to bang you on every piece of furniture I own.”

Also Read : 15+ Shrek Pick Up Lines To Impress Someone

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