Al Swearengen Quotes

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Announcing your plans is a good way to hear God laugh.

Sometimes I wish we could just hit ’em over the head, rob ’em, and throw their bodies in the creek.

 

God rest the souls of that poor family… and pussy’s half price for the next 15 minutes.

In life you have to do a lot of things you don’t fucking want to do. Many times, that’s what the fuck life is… one vile fucking task after another.

Welcome to fucking Deadwood!

How’s that pussy-lotion? Should I try some on my ass?

 

Let’s leave it all alone. I’m stupidest when I try to be funny.

Pain or damage don’t end the world.

The obvious merits utterance. Character is f**king pertinent.

Act averse to nasty language and partial to fruity tea.

The question is: until reinforced, can we learn the ways of church mice.

Yeah, the cut throats and the pigs. But who wants all that blood spilled, judge, huh? Isn’t there a simpler way of not pissing off the big vipers?

Be in my joint in two hours, we’re forming a fuckin’ government.